After chillin’ over on the west coast in LA with a post by Single Girl Blogging, today I head over to the east coast of the US and make it (literally by the skin of my teeth) to my favourite city in the whole wide world – New York City. Now, y’all should already know about my obsession with NYC. There was no way I would do an international guest blogger tour and not stop off in the Big Apple.
Todays blogger has the honour of being the only male in this week’s line up. I’d go as far as saying that he’s a pretty lucky guy to be in the company of such wonderful women. Anyway, with no further ado, I introduce to you… Single City Guy!
Thoughts of an NYC Dating Blogger
There’s plenty of complexity, to being an anonymous, male, dating blogger. Each segment of the title sparks conversation, conflict, and decisions; all creating a unique and interesting classification. A dating blogger may inspire images of Carrie from Sex in the City, when the reality is the opposite. In reality, being a dating blogger doesn’t provide wealth; you won’t become rich unless you sell a book (or movie rights). While monetary wealth in running a dating blog isn’t often seen, but there’s potential wealth the content, my prospective. For me, it’s the male prospective. Date blogging isn’t a journal of my personal experiences, it’s about providing a deep thought into the prospective of dating, especially from the male point of view. I’ve found, there’s more wealth in my insight, not exclusively for the reader, but for myself.
The complexity I mentioned at the beginning of this post, begins with the fact that, for all things considered, I’ll be classified as a “dating blogger.” There’s a certain unease to that, especially if you’re not a dating professional. In many cases, dating bloggers are “professional daters”, but even that classification is quite questionable. Every date has the potential to become a new story, or life lesson to share with my readers. However, if your date knows about your side profession, a question often arises, “Will I become your next blog post?” It’s one that some dates have asked me, but often one I’m always considering. It’s weighed with a responsibility; am I providing anything unique by talking about this date, or just random material that doesn’t help anyone. That internal, and external questioning is one of the few reasons why I cover myself with the blanket of anonymity.
Being anonymous has some good and bad aspects. The truth is, at some point, you have to reveal something about yourself that other can uniquely expose your identity. If not anonymous, there’s the potential that someone will read about your prospective of the date. It can cause problems, especially if the prospective differs from theirs, or if you’re very critical about their characteristics or the date. It also presents challenges in todays social media world, the need for separate twitter accounts, identities, and e-mails becomes the standard of operation. Keeping track of both is difficult.
My reasons for being anonymous differs from many others. I wouldn’t mind talking about my faults, failures and poor dating judgements under my real identity. I’m not scared to claim my mistakes. My anonymity has more to deal with perception. Single City Guy exists as a male point of view of dating, in response to the quite loud, and verbose female voice that berates men and dictates what we “should” do. There’s a perception women have of men, and it’s hard to tell the female collective their perception is wrong. Adding a face to that perception doesn’t help the issue, it exacerbates the issue. Conversations becomes less of a conversation, and more of the over the top shouting and finger-pointing, that’s often the starting point of conversation.
The reality is, the life of an anonymous, male, dating blogger is just like everyone else’s. I’m a regular guy, writing about what I’ve learned and what I’ve known about dating. I’ll end this post with a few lessons I’ve learned from my experience:
1) your life will become complex (for the reasons stated above)
2) some people will give you free things to try, be honest and fair
3) blogging about dating, and your perceptions of dating is a learning process.
The one thing any dating blogger should come away with is personal growth. There’s lessons learned, not only about dating, but about life, and yourself as a person. The intersection of personal conflict, conversations and decision-making are often complex, I’ve learned more about myself as a person.
If anything, I’ve come away with tools, I didn’t have, when I began this project. Most importantly, I’ve “grown”, regardless of the complexities and my own conflicts of being a dating blogger.
Single City Guy is a male lifestyle and dating blogger from New York City, who writes about his own dating experiences, provides dating advice, tips, and insight, from the male point of view.