Coming On Too Strong Too Soon

7 Nov

Last week I had my first ‘non-online dating date’ in what feels like forever. It was with a friend of a friend and that fact alone made me the most excited I’ve been about a date in a while. Unfortunately, in true The Single Filez style, it didn’t end so great. But first, the backstory.

Who Is He?

Before Easter, a friend told me that her work buddy saw a photo of me on her phone and asked who I was. This, of course, sent my friend into super-charged-Cupid-mode. I didn’t mind. I’m totally open to the idea of friends setting me up. In fact, I prefer the idea of my friends matchmaking versus trawling endless dating sites.



My friend insisted that exchanging BBM pins with her work buddy would be a good way for me to see whether I wanted to meet him. Now, we all know how I feel about conducting ‘getting to know you sessions’ via BBM but, it actually wasn’t too bad. Adding him as a BlackBerry contact gave us a chance to break the ice and it give me a chance to see what he looked like – y’know, those people who change their BBM profile pic every day? Yeah, that.

The Positives

- My friend has worked with him for three years and she only has good things to say about him. That has to be good, right?

- We only had one phone conversation prior to meeting, but it lasted for TWO hours. One of those, ‘where the hell did time go?’ conversations. We talked and laughed smoothly for 120 minutes without even realising how long we were speaking for.

The Negatives

- Being the cynic that I am, I always feel suspicious (and cringe-y) when a guy calls me ‘baby’ and ‘honey’ and sends me ‘Morning Beautiful’ texts before they’ve even ever met me.

The Date

Apart from the fact that he was 30 minutes late (bad), shorter than I was expecting and wearing an outfit like that of a boy band wannabe (extremely bad), the first part of the date was quite enjoyable.


*Sidenote: Fellas just because Cristiano Ronaldo, JLS, Justin Timberlake and Usher tuck jeans into boots – it doesn’t mean its actually a good idea. Just sayin’.

The first part of the date wasn’t terrible. We went for drinks at a favourite bar of mine (he couldn’t think of anywhere to go so I took charge, also bad) and then we went to eat at another favourite spot of mine (where he moaned about the food being too spicy – wuss) but those points aside, there was good conversation and lots of laughter.

Other things that stood out to me during the first part of the date;

  • When asked why I switch my BlackBerry to silent overnight, I explained “I don’t like being woken up in the middle of the night”. He give me the sexy *side-eye* which made me laugh. My explanation obviously made his mind go somewhere it shouldn’t have been. A bit pre-sumptious of him, but still funny.
  • He took a pic of me with his phone and told me he was going to put it as his phone wallpaper. This was my turn to give him the suspicious*side-eye*. Dude, you’ve only ever met me ONCE.


The conversation must have been good, because dinner and drinks went on so late, I missed the last tube home. Instead of me getting the night bus home, he insisted on giving me a lift. Ok , being dropped home was a nice gentlemanly touch however it didn’t stop there. Here began the second part of the date, the part I really could’ve done without;
  • Once outside my building he asked to use my toilet, which is absolutely fine but why then three hours later at 5am, am I having to do the stretch, yawn “I’m so tired I think I’m gonna get ready for bed” move for him to get the hint to leave?
  • During those few hours he managed to (jokingly, apparently) invite himself along on my NYC trip.
  • He was a bit touchy-feely and when playing with my hands, he removed one of my rings and put it on my wedding finger (errr, what the….?). I swiftly stopped him by explaining that it’s bad luck.
  • When saying goodbye, he landed a kiss on me. I wasn’t feeling it but I didn’t want to be mean so managed to turn it into a nice hug.

I get that he was just showing his interest and that’s a nice and all but woah, this was the first time we’d ever met. If you turned it all around, if a woman did all of those things to a man on the first date he would get the heebie jeebies and never been seen again. Well guess what? Sometimes it works the other way around too.

There’s being interested and there’s coming on far too strong. Neeeeexxxxt!

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