Following on from my last post, “Is ‘Nice’ Ever Enough” it got me thinking about the notion that the older we get the more we should give up on the idea of the perfect ‘Mr Right’ and just settle for the nice ‘Mr Good Enough’ instead.
A lot of women were up in arms after the book release of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. Lori, a 43 yr old single mother, believes that we should,
“Forget about the perfect 10 and look for the perfect 8″.
Gottlieb also says,
“Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.”
Personally, I’m not hugely fussed about marriage just yet (need to find a man first!), but the fact that I’ve past the age of 30 and I’m still single has not gone unnoticed by myself, my parents or my friends. My Dad is already hinting that he wants to be a grandfather *groan*. The “perfect 8″ Gottlieb says? Hmmm… maybe I need to realise that “nice” is not a bad thing at all. But the word “settling” sounds like something a loser would do. It sounds like making do with the booby price.
“Italian Guy” was sweet, funny, not ugly and wants to go out again but yet because I didn’t get ‘that feeling’, because we didn’t have a ‘rom-com look into eachother’s eyes moment’, I didn’t come away from it feeling excited. Is this the ‘too fussy syndrome’ my Mum swears that I suffer from? Why can’t I be happy with someone who likes me and who is perfectly nice? I’ve met guys in the past with whom I’ve felt an intense attraction to and had sparks flying from day one but, where are those losers now eh? Exactly.
Maybe my “Mr Good Enough” is someone who isn’t my usual type? According to Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing),
“women should widen their scope (and their ideal mate checklist!) and be open to meeting men outside of their comfort zone.”
I’m happy to say this is what I’ve been doing since I started this blog – dating guys I wouldn’t have previously. It’s early days yet, lets see if it makes a difference. Yes, I’d settle for a ‘nice guy’ over a ‘hot guy’, but settle for just anyone? Never.