Tag Archives: dating-tips

Taking A Break From Dating: One Girls’ Story

7 Nov

I haven’t had a guest blogger since my one year blogaversary week of international guest posts back in April. It’s been a long time coming but the timing on this one couldn’t be any more perfect. To combat all of the anti-dating talk I’ve been doing lately, here’s the lovely Liz from We Love Dates sharing her story…

 

We at We Love Dates love Ms. Single Filez and her blog.  When I found out she wasn’t so much loving the dates right now, I completely sympathized.  I am the editor for a dating website for the love of god, I am supposed to LOVE DATES. However, it wasn’t always like that.

Last year around this time, I took a break from dating.  I removed all my online dating profiles, and deleted a bunch of numbers from my phone.  I was burned out, and completely over it. After meeting man after man,  I was losing faith in the male species. Dating wasn’t making me feel good, and life is hard enough.

 

Since I was no longer spending countless hours online maintaining my online dating profiles, or going out on dates, I found myself with a lot of free time.  I wish I could tell you I spent my time by volunteering at a charity, or saving the world.  Nah.  Instead, I was a little bored, and I felt a little bit lost.  Usually, when I needed a boost, or didn’t want to stay home on a Friday night, I’d hop online and set up a date.  I realized that dating had become a mindless time filler.

Instead, I watched a lot of T.V, hung out with friends and family, worked out at the gym and found myself again – take that Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love!  :) I didn’t even have to go to Italy!

I began un-hiding my profiles online.  Instead of trying to meet as many men as possible in an effort to “give everyone a chance”, I dated selectively.  I didn’t allow myself to feel pressured in meeting in real life if I was unsure.  I evaluated my dating habits and put a stop to behaviors and patterns that would ultimately end with me sad and hurt.  I also began smiling back at guys at the gym, or sparking a conversation with the hottie behind me in line at Starbucks.

I didn’t sit down one day and declare my dating ban lifted.  I think as humans, we crave affection and butterflies in our tummy and all the good, cheese-ball stuff that goes along with dating.  When I was ready, I allowed dating back into my life, but I no longer made it my life.

My advice to anyone feeling burned out by the dating game is to take a break, have some fun and relax.  Drink some wine with your girls.  Hang out with your puppy and your DVR for a night. Remember that the option to date will always be there.

Whatever you do, take the pressure off yourself.  I think we forget all the positives that come with being single…it’s really pretty fabulous.

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We Love Dates is an online dating website & dating advice blog for singles in the UK, Ireland, US, Canada, South Africa & Australia.  Liz blogs (and vlogs!) about all things online dating, love, sex and relationships.  Follow We Love Dates on Twitter, and get friendly with them on Facebook.  

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Click Tonight: The Interview…

7 Nov

So get this… I haven’t been on a date in over five months and my dating life sucks balls (mind you, even when I was actively dating… my dating life still sucked balls) but for some reason, people actually want to speak to me about DATING and even consider me to be some sort of authority on the subject. Crazy huh?

Well, even though I don’t seem to be too great at doing the whole dating thing, if there is one thing I can do, it’s talk about it. A lot.

 

So, when I was approached by Click Tonight, the UK’s leading Party Dating website, and asked to talk about my life and experiences being a single girl in London – I figured, who was I to say no? Click Tonight is a cross between social networking and dating and definitely a site I’ll be looking at more in the future but, for now, if you’re remotely interested in hearing a bit of gossip, reading about the best (and worst) date I’ve ever been on and also my advice to the newly single and fabulous… head on over to the Click Tonight blog by clicking HERE and have a read.

Enjoy!

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A Valentines Week To Remember…

7 Nov

Sick and tired of always bitching about online dating and sick and tired about continually talking about trying to find new ways to get out there and meet men, this week I made an actual effort to go to events where I knew the actual purpose of the night was to mingle and to meet men.

F**k Valentines – Just Party.

THE best name for a Valentines Day event, ever. I think it pretty much sums up how most people (that I know) feel about the very annoying and very much dreaded V-Day. The annual event, which is run  by Clicktonight.com (the site that interviewed me last month HERE), does exactly what it says on the tin. You’re single, you want to escape all of the horrid Valentines Day hoo-hah, but you don’t want to stay home alone and wallow? This was the place to be.

…posted with vodpod

All in all; a gorgeous club, GREAT music (the DJ was my favourite man there, thanks to his knowledge of 80s/90s R&B and Hip Hop) and a nice choice of happy hour cocktails. To be honest, I didn’t meet any men. Hell, apart from the DJ, I didn’t even talk to any men BUT, I did have a lovely night out with the girlies. We left at the point where it felt like slightly sozzled men were scouring the crowd for single women desperate enough to get off/go home with them but hey, I guess that’s what some people go to single parties for, isn’t it?!

Compared to last Valentines Day, at least this year I got off the sofa, stopped feeling sorry for myself, stayed away from M&S Chunky Chocolate Cheesecake and did something different. A very successful Valentines Day! (By my standards anyway).

SpeedDater Event

I had speed dated a couple of times approx ten years ago and remembered that even though I never met the love of my life, I always enjoyed the process. This event was run by SpeedDater who, according their site, are the UK’s market leader in events for single people.

Beforehand we had to set up profiles on the SpeedDater website – the fact I was sent eight messages before I’d even filled out details or added a pic, made me a little (ok, a lot)  sceptical of exactly what sort of dating site it was.
On the evening, we turned up, registered (name badges with a number on) and were told to sit at the table where the number matched our badge.  Us lovely ladies were told to stay at our tables and the men would move around at a three minute intervals. We had dating cards on which to scribble down names, badge numbers and to tick ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘friend’.

Over the weekend everyone has to log back onto the site, go to the specific event page and using our dating cards as reminders, tick people we’d like to see again. In a day or two, we will know our matches.

The online element is pretty clever and definitely different to how I remember speed dating being done a decade ago. I really enjoyed the evening. I  loved speaking to different people (some more than others), I got to speak with 21 men in one night (that never happens) and to top it off, with the exception of a few, the men generally weren’t as weird or horrible as I was worried they would be. I came away from the evening having picked three ‘yesses’, seven ‘friends’ and 11 ‘no’s’ and my lovely wingwoman had picked two ‘yesses’, six friends and 13 no’s which made us realise that maybe we’re more open minded and less fussy than we originally thought.

So yup, a pretty busy Valentines Week. Will I get any dates out of it? Who knows and who cares? The important thing is… I had FUN!!!

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