I haven’t had a guest blogger since my one year blogaversary week of international guest posts back in April. It’s been a long time coming but the timing on this one couldn’t be any more perfect. To combat all of the anti-dating talk I’ve been doing lately, here’s the lovely Liz from We Love Dates sharing her story…
We at We Love Dates love Ms. Single Filez and her blog. When I found out she wasn’t so much loving the dates right now, I completely sympathized. I am the editor for a dating website for the love of god, I am supposed to LOVE DATES. However, it wasn’t always like that.
Last year around this time, I took a break from dating. I removed all my online dating profiles, and deleted a bunch of numbers from my phone. I was burned out, and completely over it. After meeting man after man, I was losing faith in the male species. Dating wasn’t making me feel good, and life is hard enough.
Since I was no longer spending countless hours online maintaining my online dating profiles, or going out on dates, I found myself with a lot of free time. I wish I could tell you I spent my time by volunteering at a charity, or saving the world. Nah. Instead, I was a little bored, and I felt a little bit lost. Usually, when I needed a boost, or didn’t want to stay home on a Friday night, I’d hop online and set up a date. I realized that dating had become a mindless time filler.
Instead, I watched a lot of T.V, hung out with friends and family, worked out at the gym and found myself again – take that Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love! I didn’t even have to go to Italy!
I began un-hiding my profiles online. Instead of trying to meet as many men as possible in an effort to “give everyone a chance”, I dated selectively. I didn’t allow myself to feel pressured in meeting in real life if I was unsure. I evaluated my dating habits and put a stop to behaviors and patterns that would ultimately end with me sad and hurt. I also began smiling back at guys at the gym, or sparking a conversation with the hottie behind me in line at Starbucks.
I didn’t sit down one day and declare my dating ban lifted. I think as humans, we crave affection and butterflies in our tummy and all the good, cheese-ball stuff that goes along with dating. When I was ready, I allowed dating back into my life, but I no longer made it my life.
My advice to anyone feeling burned out by the dating game is to take a break, have some fun and relax. Drink some wine with your girls. Hang out with your puppy and your DVR for a night. Remember that the option to date will always be there.
Whatever you do, take the pressure off yourself. I think we forget all the positives that come with being single…it’s really pretty fabulous.
We Love Dates is an online dating website & dating advice blog for singles in the UK, Ireland, US, Canada, South Africa & Australia. Liz blogs (and vlogs!) about all things online dating, love, sex and relationships. Follow We Love Dates on Twitter, and get friendly with them on Facebook.