Tag Archives: get-the-guy

Am I The Queen of Bad Dates?

7 Nov

You know when you have a gut feeling about something, but you try to push it aside only to find out your gut feeling was right? Yeah well, that pretty much sums up my second date with Mr PAYG.

For those who don’t know, I named him Mr PAYG (Pay As You Go) because when we first decided to take our conversation offline (we met via PlentyofFish) he told me that he couldn’t call me that night because he need to top up his phone credit first. Why on earth he felt the need to tell me that – a). he didn’t have enough money/credit on the phone to call me and b). inadvertently share he that didn’t have good enough credit for a contract phone – I’ll never know.

Anywhooo. I went on the second date planning to have an enjoyable evening but as mentioned in Friday’s blog post ‘The Jury’s Still Out‘ there were slight reservations lurking at the back of my mind. On the positive side, there were lots of jokes and laughter but at the end of the night I came home having decided that there definitely wouldn’t be a date number three. Let me try and break it down for you -

- On the first date I agreed to share a bottle (or two) of rose wine with him. Because, it’s what he drinks and he said it was cheaper to buy a bottle instead of individual glasses. Fine. However, this time the first thing he did when we got to the bar was start browsing the rose wine section of the menu and I pulled him up on it. “I drank nothing but rose last time because it was what you wanted. This time I’d like a rum & ginger beer please, cheers”. He sulked, but got the drinks in and the next round I returned the favour. After which he started on the economic benefits of sharing a bottle of rose again and for an easy life, I just gave in and went with the flow.

- I met him straight after work so naturally after a few hours of drinks, I’m HUNGRY. When I made him aware of this, do you know what he suggests? He suggests “a little place he knows”… and it turned out to be a kebab shop where we shared a portion of chips (fries, my US friends). Did I mention how hungry I was? I’m talking, ‘haven’t eaten since lunch and its now 10pm hungry’. I maybe small but please don’t get it twisted, I love to eat. (Side note: if I’m out with friends or even a guy I’d been dating for awhile I’d see nothing wrong with cheeky chips at the end of a night but even then, I’d want my own portion thank you very much!)

- Before heading home, he decided it would be a good idea to stop in the local Tescos superstore to buy another cheap bottle of rose to drink (whilst walking the streets) on the way back to the train station. Seriously dude? No, just NO.

Everything points to the fact that he is indeed an 18 year old in a 30 year old’s body. He still lives with his Mum, he has a pay as you go mobile phone (and seems to struggle keeping it topped up with credit), he doesn’t have enough common sense to realise if he’s invited a lady out for an after work date, the evening should actually include dinner (NOT standing up in a kebab shop sharing chips) and he thinks its appropriate to swig from a bottle of wine whilst walking down the street – NOT A GOOD LOOK! Also, I’ve since put two and two together and realised that the reason he still messages me on POF although he has my number is because…. it saves him money and means he doesn’t have to use his precious phone credit.

Come now, say it with me “ON TO THE NEXT ONE!”

 

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Happy Monthiversary To Me!

7 Nov

Slightly off topic I know, but, HAPPY MONTHIVERSARY to meeee! Ignoring the few random posts I did last year, The Single Filez  blog didn’t really and truly kick off until exactly a month ago along with my Twitter page and, what a month it’s been eh? Ok, admittedly, I still haven’t been on a date yet (and that is kinda the whole point) BUT I have been exposed to a whole new ‘world of dating’ that I didn’t know existed. Thanks to Twitter I’ve discovered lots of interesting, funny, sweet like-minded people many of whom are in the same boat as me. Also, I went a singles event courtesy of Sitting In A Tree and just yesterday I was included in We Love Dates Top Dating Bloggers on Twitter List (click here to see the list). Not bad for a month’s worth of work eh? Now, all I need are some actual dates!

So, back to the matter at hand, this week’s dating update. Obviously, there’s the date with the 25 year old (see Friday’s post to do some swotting up), but even this is proving to be a pain. We haven’t managed to put a date in the diary yet, he lives and works in Basingstoke and only comes to London on the weekends but is busy for the next couple of weekends…. blah blah blah. I found myself losing interest with each text message. Too much hard bloody work! When/if he feels he can slot me in, we’ll take it from there.

Other than that, I’ve got a few conversations happening over at Plenty of Fish and I’ve revived my DatingDirect.com membership so have a few conversations going on over there too.

A bit bored of all this talking online to be honest. I’ve licked all my wounds from last year’s dating disasters and now I’m finally ready to dip my toes back into the dating pool. Question is, do I just do ahead and accept date offers from guys I’m not initially attracted to? I need content for this blog godammit!

I’ve gotten to the point where I’m thinking of  just lining up dates specifically so that I can blog about them. It’ll be fun,  right?  It’ll give me stories to share, it might open me  up to guys I wouldn’t normal consider AND who knows… I might find Mr Right in the process? What do you think? A good idea? Too harsh? Should I just be more patient? Please do comment share your thoughts…

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Mr Perfect vs Mr Good Enough

7 Nov

Following on from my last post, “Is ‘Nice’ Ever Enough” it got me thinking about the notion that the older we get the more we should give up on the idea of the perfect ‘Mr Right’ and just settle for the nice ‘Mr Good Enough’ instead.

A lot of women were up in arms after the book release of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. Lori, a 43 yr old single mother, believes that we should,

“Forget about the perfect 10 and look for the perfect 8″.

Gottlieb also says,

“Every woman I know – no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure – feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried.”

Personally, I’m not hugely fussed about marriage just yet (need to find a man first!), but the fact that I’ve past the age of 30 and I’m still single has not gone unnoticed by myself, my parents or my friends. My Dad is already hinting that he wants to be a grandfather *groan*. The “perfect 8″ Gottlieb says? Hmmm… maybe I need to realise that “nice” is not a bad thing at all. But the word “settling” sounds like something a loser would do. It sounds like making do with the booby price.

Mr Cheap, Mr Rude & Mr Jackass – Yep, I know them well!

“Italian Guy” was sweet, funny, not ugly and wants to go out again but yet because I didn’t get ‘that feeling’, because we didn’t have a ‘rom-com look into eachother’s eyes moment’, I didn’t come away from it feeling excited. Is this the ‘too fussy syndrome’ my Mum swears that I suffer from? Why can’t I be happy with someone who likes me and who is perfectly nice? I’ve met guys in the past with whom I’ve felt an intense attraction to and had sparks flying from day one but, where are those losers now eh? Exactly.

Maybe my “Mr Good Enough” is someone who isn’t my usual type? According to Andrea Syrtash, author of He’s Just Not Your Type (And That’s A Good Thing),

“women should widen their scope (and their ideal mate checklist!) and be open to meeting men outside of their comfort zone.”

I’m happy to say this is what I’ve been doing since I started this blog – dating guys I wouldn’t have previously. It’s early days yet, lets see if it makes a difference. Yes, I’d settle for a ‘nice guy’ over a ‘hot guy’, but settle for just anyone? Never.

Shemar Moore; totally my type.

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Headed For A Solo Adventure

7 Nov

So this is it. I’m actually doing this. Tomorrow I’m travelling across the Atlantic Ocean to take on both The Big Apple and the beautiful island of Barbados, all on my lonesome. Scary, but exciting at the same time.

The downside of being single at my age is that most of my friends already have holiday plans with their boyfriends or they’re staying at home with their hubbies and babies. Hold up, let me be more truthful. I did have someone to travel with in the beginning. At first I was going to NYC with one of my oldest, dearest friends. You know, that friend you went to junior, secondary school and college with? The friend who you were inseparable from as a teenager? Well, that’s her. Despite our shared childhood we have very different adult lives. She’s been with her ‘other half’ since they were 17 and they have a 13 yr old son. So whilst I’m up here in London living the single life, she’s back in our hometown living the family life. Anyway, she decided she’d finally have some fun and come along with me for a girlie trip but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be. A month after we booked our flights and accommodation, she discovered she was pregnant. Wonderful news considering they’d been trying for awhile but not so wonderful for our plans.

After a few weeks of trying to find a replacement travel buddy I gave in to the realisation that I was going to do this alone. Actually, the more I thought about it, the more excited I got! I’ve travelled alone before, a couple of nights in Paris, a couple of nights in Amsterdam but I’ve never done anything on as big a scale as this but hey, that’s what makes it exciting isn’t it? It’s a brand new experience, a chance to meet new people, a chance to be selfish and to go where I want, for how long I want with nobody to tell me otherwise. I know some people in NYC and I have relatives and friends in Barbados, so I can choose when exactly I want to be alone. Perfect!

Also, another positive is that apparently people (ahem, men) are more likely to strike up a conversation with a lone female. Not in a ‘creepy axe murderer’ kinda way but in an ‘he thinks I look more approachable and then he’s going to go gaga over my British accent’ kinda way. Here’s hoping my trip brings opportunities and of course,  heaps of hot men.

See you on the other side my lovelies, until then, feel free to check out some personal pics from my previous NYC & Barbados trips.

TSF

x

New York City

 

 

 

Barbados (and yes, it really is this beautiful!)

 

 

 

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